Sunday, February 20, 2011

I Chose To Fight the Wrong Battle

At church today, Claire was a little extra clingy and emotional. She was sad because all her "friends" left right after church got out because it was cold and rainy.

Once at home, she was hungry and whiney so I made her (and myself) some scrambled eggs. She kept whinying and wouldn't eat much of her eggs. I was sick of it so I settled in for a looooong battle -which, of course, I always win but Claire can be stubborn so it takes a while for my victory to come around. I kept reminding her to "take another bite!" and then my reminders turned into threats. 2 spanks and 3 time-outs later, she was still only half done with her eggs. Is it really too much to ask to eat an egg? With cheese melted in it no less?

Claire kept saying her tummy hurt, a common complaint ever since about 2 months ago when I told her I couldn't jump on her trampoline with her because I had baby in my tummy and my tummy hurt. So I didn't think anything of it. Finally, after one of her time outs, I went upstairs and said "Are you ready to finish your egg? and she said "no" in a sad voice. I said she needed to take her nap then and I shut the door. About 20 minutes later, she was calling for me so I went up and she said "Mama! I choked! I choked in my bed!" I of course then felt terrible for being all in her face about eating her eggs.

(still in her church clothes)

Needless to say, she needed a bath and is now watching Dinosaur Train, with bouts of "tummy hurts" every 15 minutes or so and just threw up again! Poor baby!

After cleaning all that up, I'm not going be able to eat eggs for a long, looooooong time.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

So It Begins...

We are extremely happy to announce that we are expecting again! Reading that positive pregnancy test was such a bittersweet moment. Relieved for a second chance but not happy that we need one.
I asked Josh if I should make Claire a 'big sister' shirt this time - like we did with Will's pregnancy, but this time it would say on the front "Maybe this time... (and on the back say) I'll be a big sister?" He thought that sounded too morbid, but it really does wrap up our attitude toward this pregnancy.... Who knows? Maybe we'll get a baby, maybe not. We'll believe it when we are holding it and it is breathing.

This pregnancy is a whole new ball game for us. We decided we do NOT want to find out if the baby is a boy or girl. As horrible as it sounds to the baby, we want to be as emotionally unattached as possible. If we were to find out it's a boy or girl for sure, we would have a name in the back of our minds, be looking for gender specific items and just get our hopes up too much. I feel like I need to guard my heart as much as possible and distance myself as much as I can. (which isn't much at all when you have the baby growing inside you) Besides, it'll be fun to have a surprise.

That ultrasound of the baby was done last week when I was 10 weeks along. I have never had an u/s that early on, it was amazing to see how developed the baby was already. The picture is not that greatest, but he/she was actually waving his/her arms and legs around, fully formed (except that the head is still disproportionate) It has a strong, fast heart rate so things are currently looking good for our little person.

I was anxious for my first prenatal appointment because I wanted to find out what would be done for me differently this time. I went to the same office I went to with Claire. I was told that at about 34 weeks they will do weekly non-stress tests and then I will be induced the moment I am full-term - which sounds good to me! That knocks off a whole month of pregnancy! I think the most amazing thing to find out is that my due date September 9th, 2011. EXACTLY one year after I gave birth to Will.
When I was in the hospital having Will, I knew that we had to wait 3 months before we should try to get pregnant, then 9 months of pregnancy, which adds up to make one year. I pleaded with God "Please! Let me be holding a live baby next year at this time!" What an amazing God to orchestrate this pregnancy to have the due date one year later - to the day! I feel like it's God's promise to me that everything will turn out alright this time.

You may have noticed that my blog had been severely neglected. I have had much worse morning sickness and fatigue with this one so I'm lucky if Claire gets fed and a bath each day, let alone housework, grocery shopping and my blog. Thankfully I am starting to get out of that funk now and can go more than 4 hours without needing a 2 hour nap.

Please pray for us as we embark on the next longest 6 months of our lives.