We are extremely happy to announce that we are expecting again! Reading that positive pregnancy test was such a bittersweet moment. Relieved for a second chance but not happy that we need one.
I asked Josh if I should make Claire a 'big sister' shirt this time - like we did with Will's pregnancy, but this time it would say on the front "Maybe this time... (and on the back say) I'll be a big sister?" He thought that sounded too morbid, but it really does wrap up our attitude toward this pregnancy.... Who knows? Maybe we'll get a baby, maybe not. We'll believe it when we are holding it and it is breathing.
This pregnancy is a whole new ball game for us. We decided we do NOT want to find out if the baby is a boy or girl. As horrible as it sounds to the baby, we want to be as emotionally unattached as possible. If we were to find out it's a boy or girl for sure, we would have a name in the back of our minds, be looking for gender specific items and just get our hopes up too much. I feel like I need to guard my heart as much as possible and distance myself as much as I can. (which isn't much at all when you have the baby growing inside you) Besides, it'll be fun to have a surprise.
That ultrasound of the baby was done last week when I was 10 weeks along. I have never had an u/s that early on, it was amazing to see how developed the baby was already. The picture is not that greatest, but he/she was actually waving his/her arms and legs around, fully formed (except that the head is still disproportionate) It has a strong, fast heart rate so things are currently looking good for our little person.
I was anxious for my first prenatal appointment because I wanted to find out what would be done for me differently this time. I went to the same office I went to with Claire. I was told that at about 34 weeks they will do weekly non-stress tests and then I will be induced the moment I am full-term - which sounds good to me! That knocks off a whole month of pregnancy! I think the most amazing thing to find out is that my due date September 9th, 2011. EXACTLY one year after I gave birth to Will.
When I was in the hospital having Will, I knew that we had to wait 3 months before we should try to get pregnant, then 9 months of pregnancy, which adds up to make one year. I pleaded with God "Please! Let me be holding a live baby next year at this time!" What an amazing God to orchestrate this pregnancy to have the due date one year later - to the day! I feel like it's God's promise to me that everything will turn out alright this time.
You may have noticed that my blog had been severely neglected. I have had much worse morning sickness and fatigue with this one so I'm lucky if Claire gets fed and a bath each day, let alone housework, grocery shopping and my blog. Thankfully I am starting to get out of that funk now and can go more than 4 hours without needing a 2 hour nap.
Please pray for us as we embark on the next longest 6 months of our lives.