Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Today Should Have Been My Due Date

When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul.

I have never liked this timeless hymn. We sang it at church not too long ago and as always, I got an uneasy feeling while singing it. Not because I dislike the melody or the words (although it is a rather depressing tune), but it just hit me today that the reason I didn't like it is because I felt like a hypocrite singing it. Why? I think it is because I have never experienced a horrible circumstance in which I've had to say "It is well with my soul". I realized that I didn't know if I would truly be able to say that in the face of tragedy. I felt like singing it would make God want me to "prove it" so to speak.

I have been living a blessed life. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful, healthy, little girl, loving parents who live close by, a strong church community, Josh has his dream job, I have the best work situation I could ever ask for, we own our house, we have two dependable cars, we have everything we need. How could I sing that hymn and fully know what I was singing was true?

I know now. I know that God has bigger plans. I know He will never give us more than we handle. I know now how I react to life's most difficult moments. I know that I can truly say "It is well with my soul!"

And Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
the trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend
Even so, it is well with my soul!

2 comments:

  1. Hi Kathleen,

    I can relate to what you’re saying because something similar happened to me last month in church too. Jesus, What a Fried for Sinners is a timeless hymn that I have sung many times but never really felt like I meant/understood what I was singing. After an unusually rough weekend where I felt broken, abandoned and rejected by friends and family and even God, I was in no mood to worship. Then this hymn came up on the screen and I broke down in tears over three stanzas…

    Jesus! What a Friend for sinners!
    Jesus! Lover of my soul;
    Friends may fail me, foes assail me,
    He, my Savior, makes me whole.

    Jesus! What a Help in sorrow!
    While the billows over me roll,
    Even when my heart is breaking,
    He, my Comfort, helps my soul.

    Jesus! What a Guide and Keeper!
    While the tempest still is high,
    Storms about me, night overtakes me,
    He, my Pilot, hears my cry.

    For the first time I really felt like what the words conveyed and I cried out to God with the pain I was feeling in my heart…and I know He heard. While the last few weeks have had their toils, I have felt His presence and it has comforted me.

    Have a great week Sister! Brenda

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  2. What a transparent thing to share, Kathleen. That is so close to God's heart! Thanks for sharing it.

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